I remember when I used to wear jeans with a 28 inch waist (71 centimetres). I was in my late teens and I was not considered thin or fat. Everyone seemed to be the same shape. Today, in Australia I would have been in the slimmest 13 percent of the population.

Admittedly it quickly rose to 30 inches (76 centimetres) in my late teens but even then, I fell well below today’s Aussie average for 18-24 year old males (87 centimetres, 34 inches).

Some people might find it hard to imagine a slim version of me, but the photographic evidence exists. Untouched by Photoshop.

Amazingly, with less than a year till I am fifty, I still fall below the average which, for a 45-54 year old male, is a staggering 100.9cm (40 inches).

I was so astonished I had to double check the figures. Yes, according the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average Aussie male in his late forties is 40 inches round the waist (for the women it’s 35 inches).

And it’s all down-hill from here. Men pile on an extra inch by the time they hit their late sixties.

It’s not good. Having my slightly rotund frame as an aspiration for many should be seen as a warning to the nation. Reading these numbers I feel compelled to jump on my bike and tackle the Bobbin Head ride. What are you going to do, lard-arse?

Read the stats here